As I was checking my Facebook page when I got home today, I was bombarded with dozens of updates from “friends” of mine from high school. Some were lovely photos of their children, others were horribly misspelled descriptions of mundane things that have for some reason taken huge importance of their lives (when I say mundane, I truly mean things like a new found interest in kitty litter clumps), but most noticeably were the updates from one former classmate of mine (she shall go unnamed) who posted gratuitous amounts of photos of her making pouty lips to the camera. As my curious mind urged me to click… and God knows why, continue clicking, I realized that this person had, for the last four years, posted numerous pictures of herself making pouty lips, half of the time dressed in lingerie for all to see.

OK now… if you know me, and some of you do, you know that I’m not necessarily the most conservative person on the planet. I mean, I have a blog where I tell you, the occasional close friend and sporadic visitor from (Insert name of random desolate place here) about my mess of a love life, academic difficulties and drunken outings for the sheer purpose of literary exhibitionism. Anyways, I guess I’m just writing because I’m amazed at the amount of people who don’t seem to realize that, sadly, Facebook will be a medium from which huge amounts of background information will be derived  from when they apply for jobs and hopefully try to advance in the world.  What easier way to weed out potential employees than to go online, click a few buttons and figure out whether or not the pretty girl you are thinking of hiring is a disgusting STD infested slut? Maybe that’s what these girls are going for… “Hey, I’m easy, and I have cute matching underwear. Why wait until you get me drunk and take me home to see? I’ll show you right here on my Facebook page!”

Unfortunately dear Facebook “friend”, I will not be deleting you because, unfortunately for me, your aunts work with my mother at an elementary school, and I really don’t want my “unfriending” you to be the reason your lovely aunts avoid me at church or Wal-Mart the next time I’m home (They really are quite lovely ladies). I will say, however, that I am completely embarrassed for you, and I really hope that your career at Hooters is lucrative. Good night and good luck.

Sincerely,

Jacob Ryan Paul

Advertisements