The other weekend I went to another piano bar by myself. When I arrived, I ordered a Gin and Tonic and began conversing with a friend of mine I spotted in the front lounge when a spastic gentleman in a navy blue suit walked in. He began going up to random people introducing himself. When he came my direction, he looked at me and said “This used to be a true gentleman’s club, you would have never been let in twenty years ago.”

“I hope not” I replied “I was two.”

“What I mean” said the man “is that this bar used to require that all it’s patrons to at least wear sports coats when they came, and I’m afraid you are way too under dressed.”

“Well I’m sorry to disappoint you” I told the man mildly irritated, “maybe you should go find the people who wore jeans and inform them of their folly.”

“Will do!” said the man, who actually resembled the dad from “Honey I Shrunk the Kids!”

When I finally went to the piano room, I found the man (who I have since found out was a therapist from Chicago)lecturing several random men on their choice of attire.
It was long before the therapist spotted me and invited himself over to provide more of his practical clothing thoughts. Mind you, I was wearing black Chinos and a gray and white striped dress shirt… both from Banana Republic, so I wasn’t in terrible form.

“I have a few more words for you” said the therapist from Chicago.

“And what are they?” I asked.

“First of all… you need a better dry cleaner, and secondly, that shirt really needs some collar stays.”

Before I could say anything remotely witty, the man turned and directed his focus on a young man in jeans.

“Well that was rude” said another man who was in close proximity to my short conversation with the style expert.

“Eh..” I replied “My shirt isn’t that wrinkled is it?”

“Not at all” replied the stranger “but it could use these.” The man then handed me a small fabric pouch labeled “PINK.”

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Collar stays” replied the stranger “they’re yours.”

“Wait… you go around carrying collar stays with you?”

“Not usually, but I went shopping for my nephews today and bought a few extra, I thought you might appreciate these after your close encounter with the strange kind.”

I thanked the man for his random gift and shared a few words with him before he left. After I finished my gin and tonic, I went into the men’s room and I fixed my collar.